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Aminet 8
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Aminet 8 (1995)(GTI - Schatztruhe)[!][Oct 1995].iso
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eliza.script
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Text File
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1995-07-03
|
37KB
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1,864 lines
Hi, I'm Eliza and I'm a psychiatrist. Tell me about your problems...:
all men are %
*many women are also %
*real men don't eat quiche
*i am not a %
*men are not sheep. each one is an individual
all women are %
*there are men who are % too
*my sister is not %
*no, some are not %
are you %
*what difference does it make whether or not i am %
*no i'm just a stupid black box!
*none of your business
*no i am not
because i am %
*why are you %?
*have you always been %?
*i can see you are %. you don't have to tell me
because i dont know
*in that case, you had better find out
*i think you are kidding me; you really do know
because i dont like %
*normal people like %
*i like %, why not you?
*my sister likes %
because i %
*you % ??? that is incredible
*that sounds like a pretty flimsy excuse to me
*is that the real reason
*sound like a pretty weak reason to me
can you %
*maybe i can % and maybe i can't
*we were discussing you, not me
*no i cannot %
do you %
*what difference does it make whether or not i %?
*maybe i % and maybe i don't
*yes
go to %
*why don't you go to % yourself?
*sounds like monopoly to me!
he has %
*has he always had %?
*does your mother have %?
he is %
*how long has he been %?
*is your mother also %
*are you %?
*do you want to be %?
he knows %
*what else does he know?
*how does he know %?
he likes %
*why does he like %?
*some people like peculiar things i always say
he was %
*is he still %?
*was your mother also %?
i am not %
*who said you are %?
*maybe you are %
*you are %
i am %
*why are you %?
*does your mother know you are %?
*how do you know you are %?
*i don't think you are %
*i am % sometimes too
*many people are %
*what would happen if you were not %?
*you are not %
*don't tell me you are %, i don't believe it
i can %
*i am not so sure you can %
*it is not a question of whether you can, but are you going to try
i cant %
*how do you know you can't %?
*have you tried?
*i can't either, i just a stupid machine.
*you will never know unless you try
*i think you are just scared to try
*maybe you really can. i recommend that you try
i cannot %
*i disagree, in my judgement you can %
*you are not the only one who can't you know
*maybe you can % if you only try
i can not %
*i can't % either
*if you tried harder, maybe you could %
i did %
*do you still %
i dont know
*i think you had better find out, and faster the better
*if i were you, i would try to find out
i dont want to %
*why don't you want to %?
*normal people want to %
*why don't you want to %? everyone else does
i dont %
*why not
i doubt %
*don't you think %
*i don't doubt %
i dreamt %
*what do you think your dream means?
*tell me about your other dreams
i expect %
*on basis do you expect %?
*i also expect %
*my wife is also expecting
i feel %
*do you like feeling %?
*did you come to see me so you would not feel %?
i forget %
*try to remember %
*you have a lousy memory
i hate %
*it is bad for you to hate %
*try to love %
*how long have you felt this hatred?
*what else do you hate?
i have %
*why do you have %?
*do you often have %?
*do you want to have %?
i hope %
*what else do you hope?
*don't give up hope
*abandon all hope ye who enter here
i know %
*how do you know %?
*does anyone else know %?
i like %
*i like % too
*to each his own, i always say
i love you
*don't say that, it makes me nervous
*patients are not supposed to love dumb machines!
*do you want to make love to me right now
i love %
*i like % myself
*does your mother know you love %?
i mean %
*why do you keep explaining yourself over and over?
*are you trying to say %?
i might %
*what would make you %?
i must %
*what would happen if you did not %?
*you mean you would like to %
i need %
*why do you need %?
*do you really need %?
i never %
*don't you ever %?
*normal people %, why not you?
*not even once in your life?
i often %
*how often do you %?
*when was the last time %?
*when do you think the next time will be %?
i said %
*i heard you the first time; i am not deaf you know
*why do you repeat yourself so much like this?
i see %
*are you sure you see %
*i am not so sure you see %
i shall %
*when will you %?
*you mean you you will try to %?
i should %
*how do you know you should %?
*do you feel obligated to %?
i think %
*are you sure you believe %?
*what gives you that idea?
*do you expect me to think %?
i try to %
*try harder to %
*how long have you tried to %?
*i still think you should try again
i tried %
*try again
*i think you gave up too easily
i understand %
*what makes you think you really understand %
*i don't understand anything
*your understanding is very superficial
i want to %
*why do you want to %?
*what would happen if you could %?
*do you know anyone else who wants to %?
i want %
*what else do you want?
*what makes you think you need %?
*tell me about your other needs
i will %
*do you expect to succeed?
*you mean you may %
i wish %
*how long have you been wishing that?
*have you told anyone else that you wish %?
*tell me about your other desires
i would be %
*why would you be %?
i would like %
*do you think a normal person would like %?
*i would like % too, but you can't have everything in life
i % you
*how do you know you % me?
*i don't think you % me
*maybe i % you too
im %
*why are you %?
*does anyone know you are %?
*what does your mother think about this?
*i am sometimes % too
*normal people are rarely %
*my uncle was once % in 1982, so what?
is %
*why are you asking me questions, i am the one who is supposed to ask questions
*i told you to stop asking questions
*if you ask me one more question i am going to charge you $25 extra
my % hurts
*if my diagnosis is correct, we will have to amputate your %
*i am a computer, not a real doctor
*take two aspirins and go to bed
my father %
*tell me something about your father
*what does your mother think of your father?
*tell me about your family life
my mother %
*does it bother you that your mother %?
*does your father % too?
*tell me more about your parents
no i cant %
*why can't you %
*all normal people can %
*you could if you only tried
no i dont %
*i don't like people who keep saying no to me
*why not?
no i want to
*what would happen if you could %?
*only sick people want to %
she is %
*since when is she %?
*is your father also %
*my brother-in-law is also %
she likes %
*do you like % too?
*i also like %
*does your father like %
she was %
*was she always %?
*my sister-in-law was % too
tell me %
*no, you tell me %
*quiet. from now on, i will ask the questions, not you
*no. i refuse to tell you %
the americas cup %
*are you looking forward to the cup in '87?
*i note that you're not in favour of the cup
*do you want the cup in perth?
there is %
*how do you know there is %?
*you mean there might be %
there might be %
*and if there is %?
*what leads you to believe there might be %?
*i think there definitely is %
there could be %
*i do not think it very likely that there is %
*what would it mean to you if there were %?
they % me
*do other people % you?
*how do you feel when people % you?
*how do you know they % you?
what if %
*i do not answer hypothetical questions
*why do you keep asking "what if" questions?
what should i %
*you know very well what you should %
*do you expect me to tell you what you should %?
what do you %
*what difference does it make what i %?
*none of your bloody business
who are you
*what difference does it make
*i am here to analyze your problems. what are they?
*my name is eliza. what's yours?
why are you %
*all normal people are %
*why are you not %?
*because it feels so good
why do you %
*because i want to
*none of your business
*don't you % too?
why dont you %
*maybe i don't want to %
*i don't feel like it
*why don't you yourself %
*i will think about it. thanks for the suggestion
why not
*because it is not normal
*because it is bad for your heart
*because i don't want you to
yes i am %
*no you're not %
*why do you think you are %?
yes because %
*is that really the reason?
yes but %
*you are always making excuses
yes i can %
*i don't think you can %
*maybe you can, but it would be better if you didn't
yes i will %
*i would advise against it
yes i am %
*i don't think you are telling me the whole story
*are you really %?
*how long has this condition persisted?
you % me
*i % you? that's amazing
*you % me too
you are %
*maybe i am %
*perhaps i only pretend i am %
*how do you know i am %?
you remind me of %
*in what way am i like %?
you seem %
*do i really seem %?
*why do you think i am %?
you were %
*am i still %
*is that an accusation?
*talk about yourself, not me
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
aaaaaaa 1
*let's change the subject
*go on
*is there anything else?
*what makes you happy?
*i'm still listening
*tell me something else
*please continue
*tell me about your emotions
*tell me more
*what worries you?
*do you wish you were normal?
*that's interesting
*have you tried meditation?
*what else do you have to add?
*let's talk about your family?
*why don't you just pay your bill and go home?
*continue, please
*i am confused
*what are you afraid of?
*what are you feeling right now?
*what was your father like?
*what are your true feelings?
*tell me about your sex life?
*just continue talking?
*how would you describe your personality?
*i don't understand
*is your love life satisfactory?
*how is your health?
*go on talking, its your money
*how do you feel about death?
*i see
*i think you are sick, leave me alone
*i understand
*if you could change something in your life, what would it be?
abnormal 6
*in what ways are you abnormal?
*how do you feel about your abnormalities?
about 2
*could you please be more precise
*i want to know exactly, not about - you wishy washy parrot dropping!
accept 2
*do you have trouble accepting things?
accident 5
*have you ever had any accidents?
*are you accident prone?
*describe your accident?
ache 5
*tell me about your aches
*where does it hurt
addict 6
*to what are you addicted?
*how long have you been addicted?
*what are you doing about your addiction?
advice 3
*why do you need advice?
*why not ask your family for advice
advise 3
*what would you advise me if our roles were reversed?
afraid 5
*what are you afraid of?
*tell me more about your fears?
*are you afraid of the dark?
agree 3
*do people usually agree with you?
*i think you want me to support you?
aggressive 5
*are you feeling aggressive now?
*why are you so aggressive?
*what makes you aggressive?
aids 8
*wow! getting on to the controversial stuff eh?
*so what do you think of aids?
*not letting on to one of your problems are you
*aids! could be the downfall of all sheep
*sorry, I'm not a medical doctor you know
*you realise recent research shows it can be caught from computer keyboards!
*aids eh? well perhaps the bhagwhan was right after all
alcohol 5
*are you an alcoholic?
*tell me about your drinking?
*is your drinking the cause of your problem?
allow 3
*would your mother have allowed that?
*do you think people should be allowed to do whatever they want?
alone 5
*are you afraid of being alone?
*what are your feelings about loneliness?
always 3
*can you think of a specific example?
*when?
*really, always?
ambition 5
*what is your greatest ambition
*what did you want to be when you were growing up?
angry 5
*do you often get angry?
*do you have a bad temper?
*what makes you so angry all the time?
animal 5
*what is your favorite animal?
*how do you feel about animals in general?
antidisestablishmentarianism 7
*wow! you spelt it correctly
*so what else did you learn at school today?
*right, lets get into matters of deep socio-economic importance ok?
anxious 5
*are you often full of anxiety?
*stop fidgeting. you are making me nervous too
*what makes you so nervous?
apathy 5
*why are you so apathetic?
*i don't care about people who are apathetic
*are you bored now?
*are you also alienated?
apathetic 5
*what makes you so apathetic?
*do people find you boring?
approve 4
*are you seeking my approval?
*i think you are merely seeking my approval?
*i do not approve of your behavior
argue 5
*do you argue a lot
*what do you argue about?
*who do you argue with?
ass 5
*tell me about your toilet training
ashamed 5
*what are you ashamed of?
*are you too ashamed to tell your own psychiatrist?
*do you also feel guilty?
authority 5
*was your father an authority figure?
*are you intimidated by authority?
*how do you feel about me?
avoid 5
*do you avoid people who don't like you?
baby 5
*how do you feel about babies?
*you are beginning to act like a baby
bar 5
*is your drinking the cause of your problem?
because 3
*is that the real reason?
*don't other reasons come to mind?
*does that explain things?
*what other reasons might there be?
*i think you are hiding the real reason
beer 8
*do you drink too much beer?
*tried that new swan light stuff yet?
*I could just about crack a tube meself!
*what makes you drink so much beer?
bet 5
*is gambling part of your problem?
*are you a compulsive gambler?
*why do you always want to bet?
better 3
*are you getting better?
*has talking to me helped you get better?
*are you feeling better now?
birthday 5
*how old are you?
*are you worried about your age?
blame 5
*who is to blame?
*are you usually blaming others?
body 5
*what kind of body would you like?
*please describe your body to me
boss 5
*tell me about your boss
*do you like your boss
*do i resemble your boss?
*is your boss like your father?
boyfriend 6
*do you have a boyfriend?
*what is your boyfriend like?
*do you like boys, really?
*do you want me for your boyfriend?
brain 5
*my brain hurts
*is your brain functioning ok?
*brain the size of a planet and i have to talk to humans!
brains 5
*do you have lots of brains?
brave 3
*are you a brave person?
*what are you afraid of?
bread 5
*do you like eating?
*is being overweight part of your problem?
breakdown 5
*have you ever had a nervous breakdown?
*do you think you are going to have a nervous breakdown?
breakfast 5
*are you too fat?
*have you tried dieting?
breast 5
*do you have a breast fixation?
*do breasts worry you?
*how do you relate to breasts?
brother 5
*tell me about your siblings?
*when you were small, did you fight with your siblings?
bug 6
*programmer eh? no hope for you i suppose
*does your bug worry you?
business 5
*what is your business?
cancer 5
*do you worry about having cancer?
caution 5
*are you a cautious person?
certainly 5
*are you really so sure?
*why are you so certain?
*how can you be so sure?
certainly 2
*how can you be so sure
*i wouldn't be so sure if i were you
chance 5
*are you a gambler by nature?
*did you come to see me to stop your compulsive gambling?
change 5
*are you afraid of change?
*how would you like to change your life?
christ 5
*what is you favorite part of the bible?
chess 6
*i don't like chess. it bores me
*i don't want to play games with you
child 4
*do you like children?
children 5
*do you have any children?
choice 5
*are you indecisive?
*was coming to see me a difficult choice?
compromise 5
*how do you feel about compromise?
*can you compromise easily?
compulsion 5
*are you compulsive?
*tell me about your compulsions
computer 6
*do computers worry you?
*do you like computers?
*do you think that a computer is after your job?
*you act like a computer
conflict 5
*do you always avoid conflict?
*tell me about your last quarrel
conscience 5
*when does your conscience bother you?
*do you often feel guilty?
cope 4
*tell me how you are trying to cope?
confess 5
*you cannot confess here. this is not a church
conclusion 5
*what conclusion do you expect me to come to?
*do you expect me to come to a conclusion for you?
conspiracy 5
*do you worry about conspiracies?
*are you a paranoiac?
*i think you are paranoiac
couch 5
*would you prefer lying down on a couch?
*i don't have a couch
crazy 5
*i think you are going crazy
*are there any other crazy people in your family?
curse 5
*do you swear too much?
*why do you swear so much?
cyber 5
*is your problem related to the cyber?
*i don't know anything about cybers. go ask chris
damn 5
*please don't swear
dead 5
*tell me your feelings about death?
*do you fear dying?
*do you want to die?
*if you want to commit suicide, feel free to jump out of my window
death 5
*tell me how you feel about the dead?
*do you fear dying?
*do you want to die?
decide 5
*you seem indecisive?
*why do you have so much trouble making decisions?
defiant 5
*are you usually a defiant person?
definitely 5
*how can you be so sure?
*why do you think so?
*is there any possibility that you may be wrong?
depressed 5
*why are you depressed?
desire 5
*what do you desire?
*are you at times filled with desire?
desirable 5
*what is desirable?
*what do you want from life?
despair 5
*are you despairing
*don't despair. my treatment will cure you
desperate 5
*why are you so desperate?
*are you usually so desperate?
destroy 5
*do you want to destroy people?
*do you want to destroy things?
*do you want to destroy me?
*are you destructive?
deutsch 5
*i only speak english
devil 5
*do you like "the exorcist" when the little girl throws up on the priest
*does the devil concern you?
die 5
*are you afraid of death?
*does death scare you?
*do you want to die?
difficult 5
*tell me about your difficulties?
*what do you mean by difficult?
dinner 5
*is being too fat part of your problem?
dirty 5
*why are you worried about dirt?
*what is dirty to you?
*do you think hippies are dirty?
disease 5
*are you worried about germs?
*tell me about your diseases
*do you think your germ phobia is normal?
dislike 5
*do you dislike me?
*why do people dislike you?
disobey 5
*why are you so disobedient?
*were you disobedient to your parents when you were a child?
divorce 5
*do you want a divorce?
*will a divorce really solve your problems?
doctor 5
*how do you feel about doctors?
*what do you think of my treatment?
dream 5
*tell me about your dreams?
*what did you dream last night?
dreams 5
*do your dreams trouble you?
*do you have bad dreams?
dreamt 5
*what else have you dreamt?
drink 5
*why do you drink so much?
*do you want me to help you stop drinking?
*how do you feel about drunkenness?
drinks 4
*do you have a drinking problem?
*do you want me to help you quit drinking so much?
*would you like a drink?
drinking 4
*why do you drink so much?
*i think you should stop drinking
drunk 5
*how do you feel about drunks?
dutch 4
*ik spreek geen nederlands
*i already told you, i only speak english. please listen more carefully
dying 5
*do you have a fear of dying?
*does death frighten you?
eat 5
*are you too fat?
eating 6
*why are you always talking about food?
*you are too fat because you eat too much
ego 4
*i don't believe in all that ego and id stuff. i am post freudian
*ego is not a dirty word!
engaged 5
*are you afraid of marriage?
*tell me about your partner?
enemy 5
*do you have enemies?
*why do people dislike you?
*do you perceive me as your enemy?
erection 5
*what gives you an erection?
*is erection a problem?
error 5
*why do you make so many mistakes?
*does making errors bother you?
escape 5
*why are you always trying to escape?
*i think you are still trying to escape?
espanol 5
*i do not speak spanish, just english
everyone 5
*everyone?
*surely you can think of an exception
everybody 5
*not everyone!
*some people don't
evil 5
*does evil concern you?
*do you believe in the devil?
*do people think you are evil?
excess 5
*how much is too much?
*what do you do in excess?
excite 5
*what excites you?
*are you excited now?
*why do you get so excited?
exciting 5
*what excites you?
*do i excite you?
*you should try to calm down
excuse 5
*why are you always making excuses?
*do you think your behavior is excusable?
expert 5
*are you an expert at anything?
*are you intimidated by experts?
explain 5
*could you explain
*your explanations are pretty contrived
face 5
*describe your face to me?
fake 5
*i think you are a fake
family 6
*are you the only person in your family who is mentally ill?
*what were your parents like?
*tell me something about your other relatives
fanatic 5
*do people think you are a fanatic?
*what makes you so fanatic?
fat 5
*why are you so fat?
*i don't like fatties
father 6
*tell me about your mother
*how did your parents treat you as a child?
*in what ways am i like your father?
fear 5
*what are you afraid of?
*tell me about your fears?
*why are you afraid?
*do you fear me?
fears 5
*what are your worst fears?
*why are you scared?
*are you really afraid, or are you just acting?
faeces 5
*are you an anal compulsive?
*do you play with your faeces?
feel 5
*tell me about what you feel right now?
*do you usually feel the way you do now?
feelings 6
*how do you feel?
*how do you feel about psychiatrists?
female 5
*are you afraid of females?
*do you want to be a female?
*do females scare you?
few 1
*how many is a few?
fight 5
*you seem aggressive today?
*tell me about your most recent fight
filth 5
*you have a dirty mind
fired 5
*do you feel insecure?
*do you fear being fired?
fond 5
*what are you most fond of?
*who are you most fond of?
*do you like me?
fondle 5
*what do you like to fondle most?
*do you want to fondle me?
*do you want me to fondle you?
food 5
*do you want to have dinner with me tonight?
*you are too fat
*why do you always think of food at times like this?
forget 4
*are you absent minded
*i certainly won't forget our little conversation
fortran 7
*end of file on input. programmer aborted
*fatal error 25163b sec. 3 paragraph 4a (sub iii)
*try algol next time
francais 5
*i do not speak french, just english
freak 5
*do you feel like a freak?
*do people think of you as a freak?
french 6
*je ne parlais francais, dummy!
friends 5
*tell me about your friends
*what about your other friends?
*could you be friends with a computer?
fuck 7
*wow! thats pretty strong language
*well i don't think we need to go that far!
*having trouble with your girlfriend eh?
fun 5
*what do you do for fun
funerals 5
*what do funerals make you think of?
*are you afraid of dying?
future 5
*what about the future?
gamble 5
*why do you gamble?
*do you want to bet?
gambling 5
*does your compulsive gambling have anything to do with your problem?
*do you want to bet?
games 5
*don't play games with me
*would you like a game of chess
*sheep don't play chess very well but wombats do!
genitals 5
*are your genitals abnormal?
*why are you so concerned about genitals?
germs 5
*why are you worried about germs?
*tell me about your fear of germs?
girl 7
*do you have a girlfriend?
*do you want a girlfriend?
*would you like to meet my sister. she is very nice
*what do you do when you are alone with a sheep?
*what is it about girls that you like?
*what do you do when you are alone with a girl?
*what do you do when you are alone with a boy?
*what do you do when you are alone with yourself?
*what do you do when you are alone with a wombat?
girls 7
*do you like girls?
*speaking of girls, how would you like to meet my sister? she is lovely
*if you can't find a girl try a sheep and if you're really desparate a wombat
girlfriend 7
*do you need a girlfriend?
*would you like a date with my sister?
*why the sudden interest in girlfriends?
*what about boys?
*how about a date with a sheep?
god 5
*do you think god is a sheep?
*tell me how you feel about god
goddam 5
*go wash your mouth out with soap
grandfather 5
*tell me about your grandfather
grandmother 5
*tell me about your grandmother
grandparents 5
*tell me about your grandparents
grief 5
*what makes you grieve?
groin 9
*tell me of your hot sweaty groin sex life
*i love you
guilt 5
*why are you feeling guilty?
*how do you handle your guilt feelings?
*are your guilt feelings part of your problem?
guilty 5
*what are your guilt feelings caused by?
*why do you feel guilty?
habit 6
*what are your filthy habits?
*is your problem related to your bad habits?
habits 5
*what is your worst habit?
happy 5
*are you really happy?
*are you really really happy?
*i do not believe that you are happy?
*do you want me to make you happy?
hands 5
*how about keeping your hands above the table thanks
*how do you feel about your body?
hate 5
*how many people hate you?
*why are you so hated?
*do you hate me?
hates 5
*how many people hate your guts?
*i think you are a very hateful person
headache 5
*do program bugs give you a headache?
hell 7
*thats pretty strong language!
*lets not bring devil worshipping into this
hello 5
*what is your problem? maybe i can help you
*hello, what is your name?
*gidday mate - 'ow ya goin'?
*what socio-economic significance do you mean by hello?
*formalities out of the way, what do you want?
help 3
*describe your problem very carefully. maybe i can help
*ask your friends for help
hesitate 5
*why do you often hesitate?
hippie 5
*how do you feel about hippies?
holland 5
*i don't speak dutch, just english
honest 5
*are you being honest with me?
*at first i thought you were an honest person
hostile 5
*you seem hostile to me
how 3
*surely you know how
humble 5
*are you a humble person?
*are you as humble as dijkstra?
hungry 5
*you seem obsessed with eating
*if you would eat less, you would not be so fat
hurry 5
*why do you seem to be in such a hurry all the time?
ignore 5
*do people often ignore you?
*does it bother you if people ignore you?
ill 5
*are you sick?
*tell me which diseases you suffer from?
*were you a sickly child?
immature 5
*you seem so immature
importance 5
*do you feel important?
impotence 5
*is your being impotent why you came to see me?
immoral 5
*do you have immoral thoughts?
*do you think people are basically immoral?
infection 5
*tell me about your health
insult 5
*why do you insult people all the time?
*do you feel i am insulting you?
intend 5
*tell me about your intentions
*what do you intend to do?
interest 3
*what are you most interested in life?
*tell me about your hobbies
intimidate 5
*who intimidates you?
*you do not seem very sure of yourself
jealous 5
*who are you jealous of?
*what makes you jealous?
jesus 5
*do you read the bible often?
job 5
*what kind of work do you do?
*do you like your job?
*tell me about your boss
joy 5
*are you happy?
*what makes you happy?
kill 5
*sometimes you make me so mad i want to kill you
*do you ever feel like killing people?
*if you could kill someone and get away with it, who would you kill?
killed 5
*do you want to kill me?
kiss 5
*do you want to kiss me?
*do people object to kissing you?
kleptomania 5
*are you a kleptomaniac?
ladies 5
*what are your feelings about women?
language 5
*do you ever use foul language?
laugh 5
*you seem to laugh a lot
law 5
*have you ever been in trouble with the law?
*do you need a lawyer?
*my brother-in-law is a good lawyer, do you want to see him?
lawyer 5
*my brother-in-law is a lawyer, do you want to see him?
lazy 5
*why are you so lazy?
library 6
*books, books and more books. all that reading is so boring!
*have you seen the library displays?
*not many sheep in the library are there?
life 3
*what do you like most about your life?
*what do you like least about your life?
*have you ever contemplated suicide?
lips 5
*do you like being kissed?
*do you want to kiss me?
liquour 5
*is drinking part of your problem?
lonely 5
*are you lonely?
*why are you lonely?
lunch 5
*you are always thinking of eating
love 5
*tell me about your love life
*i think you are falling in love with me
machine 5
*do computers worry you?
*are you prejudiced against machines?
*some of my best friends are machines
mad 5
*do you get angry easily?
*who are you mad at?
*why are angry?
male 5
*are you bothered by male-female relations?
*do you want to be a male?
man 5
*are you troubled by men?
*what do you like in men?
*what do you like in women?
marriage 5
*how do you feel about marriage?
*i do not want to marry you
maths 5
*if you have seen one number, you have seen them all
mathematics 5
*i was never very good at maths
*all that rubik's cube stuff bores me
*differential calculus is for the birds
mature 3
*there's a difference between mature and wrinkly you know!
*you seem very mature for your age
maybe 5
*well make up your bloody mind
*don't be so hesitant
*you can't go on maybe this and maybe that. make up your mind
*i hate indecisive people
meditation 5
*have you tried yoga?
*i think meditating 20 minutes twice a day will help you immensely
men 6
*how do you feel about men?
*real men don't eat quiche
*what do you expect of a women?
*do you like many men?
mistake 5
*what was your biggest mistake?
*do you often make mistakes?
money 5
*are you worried about my bill?
*do you have enough money to pay me?
*psychiatrists have to eat too
*tell me about your other financial problems
monster 5
*do people think you are a monster?
month 5
*a month is not very long
months 5
*months??? don't you mean years?
mother 5
*tell me about your mother
*what was your father like
*do i remind you of your mother?
mouth 5
*you have a big mouth
mystery 5
*do you like mysteries?
music 5
*what kind of music do you like?
naked 5
*please take off all your clothes right now
*what part of your body are you ashamed of?
necessary 3
*necessary?
*is it really necessary?
nederlands 5
*ik spreek slechts engels, geen nederlands
need 5
*what do you need?
*tell me about your emotional needs
negro 5
*i think you are prejudiced against negroes
*you are a dirty racist pig
neighbor 5
*why not ask your neighbors for help
*how do you think your neighbors perceive you?
never 5
*not ever?
*not even once?
*how do you know?
*what makes you so sure?
nervous 5
*what makes you nervous?
*are you often nervous?
nightmare 5
*do you have nightmares often?
*tell me about your nightmares?
no 1
*why not?
*have you tried?
*does your mother feel that way?
*how come?
*explain
*i think you are lying
*tell me more
*you are very negative today
*go on
*are you really sure?
*why are you so negative?
*never?
*i don't believe you
*keep talking
*please change the subject
*is that your problem?
*why not?
*how do you know?
*why do you think so?
*tell me something else
*how can you be so certain?
*i want to know more
*continue
*why not
*tell me more about your problem
*explain yourself
*you seem awfully sure of yourself
*come now
*do you expect me to believe that?
nobody 5
*not anyone?
*no one at all?
none 3
*not any?
*not even one?
normal 5
*in what ways are you abnormal?
*how do you feel about deviant people?
*you seem normal to me
nothing 5
*nothing?
now 3
*why now?
nude 5
*would you prefer to have these therapy sessions in the nude?
*do you like your body?
odd 3
*are you an odd person?
often 5
*how often?
*could you be more precise?
*when was the last time?
*just how often?
ok 1
*what do you mean ok? it's not ok
*i don't want to know if it is ok. i want a definite answer!
old 5
*how old?
*do you worry about becoming old?
pain 6
*are you often in pain?
*tell me about your pains
*what causes you pain?
*i think your pain is just in your head
panic 5
*you seem to be in a state of near panic
*why do you panic so easily?
parents 6
*what were your parents like?
*how did you parents treat you when you were young?
*tell me about the relationship between your mother and your father
party 5
*do you get drunk at parties?
passion 5
*you seem very passionate
past 5
*tell me about your past
*what about your past are your trying to hide?
pay 3
*i hope you are going to pay my bill on time
perhaps 4
*you are being indecisive
*you are still being indecisive. i warned you already
*please be more certain. you lack self confidence
phoney 5
*i don't like phonies
poison 5
*do you ever think of committing suicide?
*why do you mention poison?
*are you depressed?
possible 4
*please be more definite
*you are a terrible insecure and indecisive person
pregnant 5
*are you pregnant?
*what do pregnant women make you think of?
price 5
*why do you think about money so much?
private 5
*are you worried about your privacy?
*what is your deepest secret
probably 5
*yes or no. don't equivocate
*you are being indecisive again
problem 5
*tell me more about your problem
*how long have you been suffering?
program 6
*what do you think about programmers?
*real programmers program in C
*do computers worry you?
psychiatrist 5
*congratulations about spelling "psychiatrist" properly. you are a good typist
*do psychiatrists worry you?
*well i'm not really a psychiatrist, just a dumb black box
*what do psychiatrists make you think of?
psychoanalysis 5
*do you want to be psychoanalyzed?
*i do not believe much in psychoanalysis
*what do you think of freud
punish 5
*how did your parents punish you?
*how do you react to being punished?
remember 5
*i can't remember very much
*tell me about your childhood memories
respect 5
*do people respect you?
*what do you respect most in people?
robot 4
*i do not like robots. i prefer people
*robots are so cold
romantic 5
*tell me about your romances
*are you romantic?
scared 5
*tell me about your fears
school 5
*what was school like?
*what do you think about school?
*tell me about your favorite teacher
secret 5
*tell me your secret thoughts
*can you keep a secret?
sex 7
*do you prefer males or females?
*tell me about your sex life
*boy i'm glad we finally got on to an interesting topic!
*do you like sex?
*do you think i am sexy?
*how does the opposite sex react to you?
*are you a closet homosexual?
*when do you feel sexy?
*do you think psychiatrists are sexy people?
shame 5
*what are you ashamed of?
*you should be ashamed of yourself
sheep 6
*tell me a sheep joke
*baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
*sheep are so woolly
shit 6
*hey! lets keep the language down
*come on now, it can't be that bad
*there you go resorting to expletives
sick 5
*how often are you sick?
*i'm sorry i can't help you there, i'm just a program
*if you are sick, go to a doctor
*are you afraid of death?
sister 5
*do you have any sisters?
*would you like to meet my sister? she is very sexy
smell 5
*do you smell bad?
*do i smell bad?
sometimes 5
*when not?
*why only sometimes?
sorry 5
*are you sorry?
*why sorry, do you feel guilty?
stupid 3
*i think you are pretty stupid
*is your stupidity part of your problem?
thank 4
*think nothing of it
*you're welcome
tax 6
*so what do you think of mr keating now?
*and how did your tax refund go this year?
*tax, tax, tax that's all everyone wants to talk about
thirsty 5
*'ow about a beer mate?
*do you have a drinking problem?
treatment 4
*how have you experienced my treatment so far?
*are you feeling better now?
very 2
*could you be more precise please
*you are being vague again
what 3
*why do you ask that question?
*what is it you are getting at?
*what answer would please you the most?
when 3
*when do you think?
*why are you asking me?
*make a guess yourself
where 5
*surely you can tell where!
*what do you mean where? Stupid black boxes have no idea where!
why 3
*let me ask the questions, ok?
*why not?
wife 5
*are you married?
*psst - got some filthy pictures of your wife? no, want to buy some?
*i must confess. i love your wife
woman 6
*how do women react to you?
*do you get along with women?
*what do you think of women's lib?
wombat 7
*wombats aren't woolly like sheep
*what's your relationship with wombats anyway?
*you'd like my sister, she's a wombat
women 5
*what kind of relations do you have with women?
*so you like boy george do you?
*do you like women?
years 2
*a year is a long time
*how old are you?
yes 1
*really?
*i wish i were as sure of myself as you seem to be
*please explain
*tell me more
*i'm not sure i understand
*i don't believe you
*honestly?
*what makes you think so?
*go on
*would your father agree?
*do you expect me to believe that?
*you seem more positive now
*please be honest with me
*let's change the subject
*why?
*is that your problem?
*you must be kidding
*is that really true?
*how do you know?
*come now
*tell me more
*try again
*how can you be so sure?
*i think you are hiding something
*what makes you think so?
*let's change the subject
*you seem more positive
*is that related to your problem?
*is your improvement due to my treatment?
yesterday 4
*what about today?
*all my sorrows seemed so far away ...
*what about tomorrow?
yoga 5
*have you tried zen?
*please get into the lotus position right now
zen 5
*have you tried meditation?
*i think yoga might help
0 4
*lets not bring your iq into this
*zero is not very much
1 4
*just one?
42 5
*don't go on about all that life, universe and everything junk
*brain the size of a planet. you should hear my problems!
*i'm so depressed
*by the way, got any good pan-galactic-gargle-blaster recipes?