Aminet 8

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Text File | 1995-07-03 | 37KB | 1,864 lines

Hi, I'm Eliza and I'm a psychiatrist. Tell me about your problems...: all men are % *many women are also % *real men don't eat quiche *i am not a % *men are not sheep. each one is an individual all women are % *there are men who are % too *my sister is not % *no, some are not % are you % *what difference does it make whether or not i am % *no i'm just a stupid black box! *none of your business *no i am not because i am % *why are you %? *have you always been %? *i can see you are %. you don't have to tell me because i dont know *in that case, you had better find out *i think you are kidding me; you really do know because i dont like % *normal people like % *i like %, why not you? *my sister likes % because i % *you % ??? that is incredible *that sounds like a pretty flimsy excuse to me *is that the real reason *sound like a pretty weak reason to me can you % *maybe i can % and maybe i can't *we were discussing you, not me *no i cannot % do you % *what difference does it make whether or not i %? *maybe i % and maybe i don't *yes go to % *why don't you go to % yourself? *sounds like monopoly to me! he has % *has he always had %? *does your mother have %? he is % *how long has he been %? *is your mother also % *are you %? *do you want to be %? he knows % *what else does he know? *how does he know %? he likes % *why does he like %? *some people like peculiar things i always say he was % *is he still %? *was your mother also %? i am not % *who said you are %? *maybe you are % *you are % i am % *why are you %? *does your mother know you are %? *how do you know you are %? *i don't think you are % *i am % sometimes too *many people are % *what would happen if you were not %? *you are not % *don't tell me you are %, i don't believe it i can % *i am not so sure you can % *it is not a question of whether you can, but are you going to try i cant % *how do you know you can't %? *have you tried? *i can't either, i just a stupid machine. *you will never know unless you try *i think you are just scared to try *maybe you really can. i recommend that you try i cannot % *i disagree, in my judgement you can % *you are not the only one who can't you know *maybe you can % if you only try i can not % *i can't % either *if you tried harder, maybe you could % i did % *do you still % i dont know *i think you had better find out, and faster the better *if i were you, i would try to find out i dont want to % *why don't you want to %? *normal people want to % *why don't you want to %? everyone else does i dont % *why not i doubt % *don't you think % *i don't doubt % i dreamt % *what do you think your dream means? *tell me about your other dreams i expect % *on basis do you expect %? *i also expect % *my wife is also expecting i feel % *do you like feeling %? *did you come to see me so you would not feel %? i forget % *try to remember % *you have a lousy memory i hate % *it is bad for you to hate % *try to love % *how long have you felt this hatred? *what else do you hate? i have % *why do you have %? *do you often have %? *do you want to have %? i hope % *what else do you hope? *don't give up hope *abandon all hope ye who enter here i know % *how do you know %? *does anyone else know %? i like % *i like % too *to each his own, i always say i love you *don't say that, it makes me nervous *patients are not supposed to love dumb machines! *do you want to make love to me right now i love % *i like % myself *does your mother know you love %? i mean % *why do you keep explaining yourself over and over? *are you trying to say %? i might % *what would make you %? i must % *what would happen if you did not %? *you mean you would like to % i need % *why do you need %? *do you really need %? i never % *don't you ever %? *normal people %, why not you? *not even once in your life? i often % *how often do you %? *when was the last time %? *when do you think the next time will be %? i said % *i heard you the first time; i am not deaf you know *why do you repeat yourself so much like this? i see % *are you sure you see % *i am not so sure you see % i shall % *when will you %? *you mean you you will try to %? i should % *how do you know you should %? *do you feel obligated to %? i think % *are you sure you believe %? *what gives you that idea? *do you expect me to think %? i try to % *try harder to % *how long have you tried to %? *i still think you should try again i tried % *try again *i think you gave up too easily i understand % *what makes you think you really understand % *i don't understand anything *your understanding is very superficial i want to % *why do you want to %? *what would happen if you could %? *do you know anyone else who wants to %? i want % *what else do you want? *what makes you think you need %? *tell me about your other needs i will % *do you expect to succeed? *you mean you may % i wish % *how long have you been wishing that? *have you told anyone else that you wish %? *tell me about your other desires i would be % *why would you be %? i would like % *do you think a normal person would like %? *i would like % too, but you can't have everything in life i % you *how do you know you % me? *i don't think you % me *maybe i % you too im % *why are you %? *does anyone know you are %? *what does your mother think about this? *i am sometimes % too *normal people are rarely % *my uncle was once % in 1982, so what? is % *why are you asking me questions, i am the one who is supposed to ask questions *i told you to stop asking questions *if you ask me one more question i am going to charge you $25 extra my % hurts *if my diagnosis is correct, we will have to amputate your % *i am a computer, not a real doctor *take two aspirins and go to bed my father % *tell me something about your father *what does your mother think of your father? *tell me about your family life my mother % *does it bother you that your mother %? *does your father % too? *tell me more about your parents no i cant % *why can't you % *all normal people can % *you could if you only tried no i dont % *i don't like people who keep saying no to me *why not? no i want to *what would happen if you could %? *only sick people want to % she is % *since when is she %? *is your father also % *my brother-in-law is also % she likes % *do you like % too? *i also like % *does your father like % she was % *was she always %? *my sister-in-law was % too tell me % *no, you tell me % *quiet. from now on, i will ask the questions, not you *no. i refuse to tell you % the americas cup % *are you looking forward to the cup in '87? *i note that you're not in favour of the cup *do you want the cup in perth? there is % *how do you know there is %? *you mean there might be % there might be % *and if there is %? *what leads you to believe there might be %? *i think there definitely is % there could be % *i do not think it very likely that there is % *what would it mean to you if there were %? they % me *do other people % you? *how do you feel when people % you? *how do you know they % you? what if % *i do not answer hypothetical questions *why do you keep asking "what if" questions? what should i % *you know very well what you should % *do you expect me to tell you what you should %? what do you % *what difference does it make what i %? *none of your bloody business who are you *what difference does it make *i am here to analyze your problems. what are they? *my name is eliza. what's yours? why are you % *all normal people are % *why are you not %? *because it feels so good why do you % *because i want to *none of your business *don't you % too? why dont you % *maybe i don't want to % *i don't feel like it *why don't you yourself % *i will think about it. thanks for the suggestion why not *because it is not normal *because it is bad for your heart *because i don't want you to yes i am % *no you're not % *why do you think you are %? yes because % *is that really the reason? yes but % *you are always making excuses yes i can % *i don't think you can % *maybe you can, but it would be better if you didn't yes i will % *i would advise against it yes i am % *i don't think you are telling me the whole story *are you really %? *how long has this condition persisted? you % me *i % you? that's amazing *you % me too you are % *maybe i am % *perhaps i only pretend i am % *how do you know i am %? you remind me of % *in what way am i like %? you seem % *do i really seem %? *why do you think i am %? you were % *am i still % *is that an accusation? *talk about yourself, not me +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ aaaaaaa 1 *let's change the subject *go on *is there anything else? *what makes you happy? *i'm still listening *tell me something else *please continue *tell me about your emotions *tell me more *what worries you? *do you wish you were normal? *that's interesting *have you tried meditation? *what else do you have to add? *let's talk about your family? *why don't you just pay your bill and go home? *continue, please *i am confused *what are you afraid of? *what are you feeling right now? *what was your father like? *what are your true feelings? *tell me about your sex life? *just continue talking? *how would you describe your personality? *i don't understand *is your love life satisfactory? *how is your health? *go on talking, its your money *how do you feel about death? *i see *i think you are sick, leave me alone *i understand *if you could change something in your life, what would it be? abnormal 6 *in what ways are you abnormal? *how do you feel about your abnormalities? about 2 *could you please be more precise *i want to know exactly, not about - you wishy washy parrot dropping! accept 2 *do you have trouble accepting things? accident 5 *have you ever had any accidents? *are you accident prone? *describe your accident? ache 5 *tell me about your aches *where does it hurt addict 6 *to what are you addicted? *how long have you been addicted? *what are you doing about your addiction? advice 3 *why do you need advice? *why not ask your family for advice advise 3 *what would you advise me if our roles were reversed? afraid 5 *what are you afraid of? *tell me more about your fears? *are you afraid of the dark? agree 3 *do people usually agree with you? *i think you want me to support you? aggressive 5 *are you feeling aggressive now? *why are you so aggressive? *what makes you aggressive? aids 8 *wow! getting on to the controversial stuff eh? *so what do you think of aids? *not letting on to one of your problems are you *aids! could be the downfall of all sheep *sorry, I'm not a medical doctor you know *you realise recent research shows it can be caught from computer keyboards! *aids eh? well perhaps the bhagwhan was right after all alcohol 5 *are you an alcoholic? *tell me about your drinking? *is your drinking the cause of your problem? allow 3 *would your mother have allowed that? *do you think people should be allowed to do whatever they want? alone 5 *are you afraid of being alone? *what are your feelings about loneliness? always 3 *can you think of a specific example? *when? *really, always? ambition 5 *what is your greatest ambition *what did you want to be when you were growing up? angry 5 *do you often get angry? *do you have a bad temper? *what makes you so angry all the time? animal 5 *what is your favorite animal? *how do you feel about animals in general? antidisestablishmentarianism 7 *wow! you spelt it correctly *so what else did you learn at school today? *right, lets get into matters of deep socio-economic importance ok? anxious 5 *are you often full of anxiety? *stop fidgeting. you are making me nervous too *what makes you so nervous? apathy 5 *why are you so apathetic? *i don't care about people who are apathetic *are you bored now? *are you also alienated? apathetic 5 *what makes you so apathetic? *do people find you boring? approve 4 *are you seeking my approval? *i think you are merely seeking my approval? *i do not approve of your behavior argue 5 *do you argue a lot *what do you argue about? *who do you argue with? ass 5 *tell me about your toilet training ashamed 5 *what are you ashamed of? *are you too ashamed to tell your own psychiatrist? *do you also feel guilty? authority 5 *was your father an authority figure? *are you intimidated by authority? *how do you feel about me? avoid 5 *do you avoid people who don't like you? baby 5 *how do you feel about babies? *you are beginning to act like a baby bar 5 *is your drinking the cause of your problem? because 3 *is that the real reason? *don't other reasons come to mind? *does that explain things? *what other reasons might there be? *i think you are hiding the real reason beer 8 *do you drink too much beer? *tried that new swan light stuff yet? *I could just about crack a tube meself! *what makes you drink so much beer? bet 5 *is gambling part of your problem? *are you a compulsive gambler? *why do you always want to bet? better 3 *are you getting better? *has talking to me helped you get better? *are you feeling better now? birthday 5 *how old are you? *are you worried about your age? blame 5 *who is to blame? *are you usually blaming others? body 5 *what kind of body would you like? *please describe your body to me boss 5 *tell me about your boss *do you like your boss *do i resemble your boss? *is your boss like your father? boyfriend 6 *do you have a boyfriend? *what is your boyfriend like? *do you like boys, really? *do you want me for your boyfriend? brain 5 *my brain hurts *is your brain functioning ok? *brain the size of a planet and i have to talk to humans! brains 5 *do you have lots of brains? brave 3 *are you a brave person? *what are you afraid of? bread 5 *do you like eating? *is being overweight part of your problem? breakdown 5 *have you ever had a nervous breakdown? *do you think you are going to have a nervous breakdown? breakfast 5 *are you too fat? *have you tried dieting? breast 5 *do you have a breast fixation? *do breasts worry you? *how do you relate to breasts? brother 5 *tell me about your siblings? *when you were small, did you fight with your siblings? bug 6 *programmer eh? no hope for you i suppose *does your bug worry you? business 5 *what is your business? cancer 5 *do you worry about having cancer? caution 5 *are you a cautious person? certainly 5 *are you really so sure? *why are you so certain? *how can you be so sure? certainly 2 *how can you be so sure *i wouldn't be so sure if i were you chance 5 *are you a gambler by nature? *did you come to see me to stop your compulsive gambling? change 5 *are you afraid of change? *how would you like to change your life? christ 5 *what is you favorite part of the bible? chess 6 *i don't like chess. it bores me *i don't want to play games with you child 4 *do you like children? children 5 *do you have any children? choice 5 *are you indecisive? *was coming to see me a difficult choice? compromise 5 *how do you feel about compromise? *can you compromise easily? compulsion 5 *are you compulsive? *tell me about your compulsions computer 6 *do computers worry you? *do you like computers? *do you think that a computer is after your job? *you act like a computer conflict 5 *do you always avoid conflict? *tell me about your last quarrel conscience 5 *when does your conscience bother you? *do you often feel guilty? cope 4 *tell me how you are trying to cope? confess 5 *you cannot confess here. this is not a church conclusion 5 *what conclusion do you expect me to come to? *do you expect me to come to a conclusion for you? conspiracy 5 *do you worry about conspiracies? *are you a paranoiac? *i think you are paranoiac couch 5 *would you prefer lying down on a couch? *i don't have a couch crazy 5 *i think you are going crazy *are there any other crazy people in your family? curse 5 *do you swear too much? *why do you swear so much? cyber 5 *is your problem related to the cyber? *i don't know anything about cybers. go ask chris damn 5 *please don't swear dead 5 *tell me your feelings about death? *do you fear dying? *do you want to die? *if you want to commit suicide, feel free to jump out of my window death 5 *tell me how you feel about the dead? *do you fear dying? *do you want to die? decide 5 *you seem indecisive? *why do you have so much trouble making decisions? defiant 5 *are you usually a defiant person? definitely 5 *how can you be so sure? *why do you think so? *is there any possibility that you may be wrong? depressed 5 *why are you depressed? desire 5 *what do you desire? *are you at times filled with desire? desirable 5 *what is desirable? *what do you want from life? despair 5 *are you despairing *don't despair. my treatment will cure you desperate 5 *why are you so desperate? *are you usually so desperate? destroy 5 *do you want to destroy people? *do you want to destroy things? *do you want to destroy me? *are you destructive? deutsch 5 *i only speak english devil 5 *do you like "the exorcist" when the little girl throws up on the priest *does the devil concern you? die 5 *are you afraid of death? *does death scare you? *do you want to die? difficult 5 *tell me about your difficulties? *what do you mean by difficult? dinner 5 *is being too fat part of your problem? dirty 5 *why are you worried about dirt? *what is dirty to you? *do you think hippies are dirty? disease 5 *are you worried about germs? *tell me about your diseases *do you think your germ phobia is normal? dislike 5 *do you dislike me? *why do people dislike you? disobey 5 *why are you so disobedient? *were you disobedient to your parents when you were a child? divorce 5 *do you want a divorce? *will a divorce really solve your problems? doctor 5 *how do you feel about doctors? *what do you think of my treatment? dream 5 *tell me about your dreams? *what did you dream last night? dreams 5 *do your dreams trouble you? *do you have bad dreams? dreamt 5 *what else have you dreamt? drink 5 *why do you drink so much? *do you want me to help you stop drinking? *how do you feel about drunkenness? drinks 4 *do you have a drinking problem? *do you want me to help you quit drinking so much? *would you like a drink? drinking 4 *why do you drink so much? *i think you should stop drinking drunk 5 *how do you feel about drunks? dutch 4 *ik spreek geen nederlands *i already told you, i only speak english. please listen more carefully dying 5 *do you have a fear of dying? *does death frighten you? eat 5 *are you too fat? eating 6 *why are you always talking about food? *you are too fat because you eat too much ego 4 *i don't believe in all that ego and id stuff. i am post freudian *ego is not a dirty word! engaged 5 *are you afraid of marriage? *tell me about your partner? enemy 5 *do you have enemies? *why do people dislike you? *do you perceive me as your enemy? erection 5 *what gives you an erection? *is erection a problem? error 5 *why do you make so many mistakes? *does making errors bother you? escape 5 *why are you always trying to escape? *i think you are still trying to escape? espanol 5 *i do not speak spanish, just english everyone 5 *everyone? *surely you can think of an exception everybody 5 *not everyone! *some people don't evil 5 *does evil concern you? *do you believe in the devil? *do people think you are evil? excess 5 *how much is too much? *what do you do in excess? excite 5 *what excites you? *are you excited now? *why do you get so excited? exciting 5 *what excites you? *do i excite you? *you should try to calm down excuse 5 *why are you always making excuses? *do you think your behavior is excusable? expert 5 *are you an expert at anything? *are you intimidated by experts? explain 5 *could you explain *your explanations are pretty contrived face 5 *describe your face to me? fake 5 *i think you are a fake family 6 *are you the only person in your family who is mentally ill? *what were your parents like? *tell me something about your other relatives fanatic 5 *do people think you are a fanatic? *what makes you so fanatic? fat 5 *why are you so fat? *i don't like fatties father 6 *tell me about your mother *how did your parents treat you as a child? *in what ways am i like your father? fear 5 *what are you afraid of? *tell me about your fears? *why are you afraid? *do you fear me? fears 5 *what are your worst fears? *why are you scared? *are you really afraid, or are you just acting? faeces 5 *are you an anal compulsive? *do you play with your faeces? feel 5 *tell me about what you feel right now? *do you usually feel the way you do now? feelings 6 *how do you feel? *how do you feel about psychiatrists? female 5 *are you afraid of females? *do you want to be a female? *do females scare you? few 1 *how many is a few? fight 5 *you seem aggressive today? *tell me about your most recent fight filth 5 *you have a dirty mind fired 5 *do you feel insecure? *do you fear being fired? fond 5 *what are you most fond of? *who are you most fond of? *do you like me? fondle 5 *what do you like to fondle most? *do you want to fondle me? *do you want me to fondle you? food 5 *do you want to have dinner with me tonight? *you are too fat *why do you always think of food at times like this? forget 4 *are you absent minded *i certainly won't forget our little conversation fortran 7 *end of file on input. programmer aborted *fatal error 25163b sec. 3 paragraph 4a (sub iii) *try algol next time francais 5 *i do not speak french, just english freak 5 *do you feel like a freak? *do people think of you as a freak? french 6 *je ne parlais francais, dummy! friends 5 *tell me about your friends *what about your other friends? *could you be friends with a computer? fuck 7 *wow! thats pretty strong language *well i don't think we need to go that far! *having trouble with your girlfriend eh? fun 5 *what do you do for fun funerals 5 *what do funerals make you think of? *are you afraid of dying? future 5 *what about the future? gamble 5 *why do you gamble? *do you want to bet? gambling 5 *does your compulsive gambling have anything to do with your problem? *do you want to bet? games 5 *don't play games with me *would you like a game of chess *sheep don't play chess very well but wombats do! genitals 5 *are your genitals abnormal? *why are you so concerned about genitals? germs 5 *why are you worried about germs? *tell me about your fear of germs? girl 7 *do you have a girlfriend? *do you want a girlfriend? *would you like to meet my sister. she is very nice *what do you do when you are alone with a sheep? *what is it about girls that you like? *what do you do when you are alone with a girl? *what do you do when you are alone with a boy? *what do you do when you are alone with yourself? *what do you do when you are alone with a wombat? girls 7 *do you like girls? *speaking of girls, how would you like to meet my sister? she is lovely *if you can't find a girl try a sheep and if you're really desparate a wombat girlfriend 7 *do you need a girlfriend? *would you like a date with my sister? *why the sudden interest in girlfriends? *what about boys? *how about a date with a sheep? god 5 *do you think god is a sheep? *tell me how you feel about god goddam 5 *go wash your mouth out with soap grandfather 5 *tell me about your grandfather grandmother 5 *tell me about your grandmother grandparents 5 *tell me about your grandparents grief 5 *what makes you grieve? groin 9 *tell me of your hot sweaty groin sex life *i love you guilt 5 *why are you feeling guilty? *how do you handle your guilt feelings? *are your guilt feelings part of your problem? guilty 5 *what are your guilt feelings caused by? *why do you feel guilty? habit 6 *what are your filthy habits? *is your problem related to your bad habits? habits 5 *what is your worst habit? happy 5 *are you really happy? *are you really really happy? *i do not believe that you are happy? *do you want me to make you happy? hands 5 *how about keeping your hands above the table thanks *how do you feel about your body? hate 5 *how many people hate you? *why are you so hated? *do you hate me? hates 5 *how many people hate your guts? *i think you are a very hateful person headache 5 *do program bugs give you a headache? hell 7 *thats pretty strong language! *lets not bring devil worshipping into this hello 5 *what is your problem? maybe i can help you *hello, what is your name? *gidday mate - 'ow ya goin'? *what socio-economic significance do you mean by hello? *formalities out of the way, what do you want? help 3 *describe your problem very carefully. maybe i can help *ask your friends for help hesitate 5 *why do you often hesitate? hippie 5 *how do you feel about hippies? holland 5 *i don't speak dutch, just english honest 5 *are you being honest with me? *at first i thought you were an honest person hostile 5 *you seem hostile to me how 3 *surely you know how humble 5 *are you a humble person? *are you as humble as dijkstra? hungry 5 *you seem obsessed with eating *if you would eat less, you would not be so fat hurry 5 *why do you seem to be in such a hurry all the time? ignore 5 *do people often ignore you? *does it bother you if people ignore you? ill 5 *are you sick? *tell me which diseases you suffer from? *were you a sickly child? immature 5 *you seem so immature importance 5 *do you feel important? impotence 5 *is your being impotent why you came to see me? immoral 5 *do you have immoral thoughts? *do you think people are basically immoral? infection 5 *tell me about your health insult 5 *why do you insult people all the time? *do you feel i am insulting you? intend 5 *tell me about your intentions *what do you intend to do? interest 3 *what are you most interested in life? *tell me about your hobbies intimidate 5 *who intimidates you? *you do not seem very sure of yourself jealous 5 *who are you jealous of? *what makes you jealous? jesus 5 *do you read the bible often? job 5 *what kind of work do you do? *do you like your job? *tell me about your boss joy 5 *are you happy? *what makes you happy? kill 5 *sometimes you make me so mad i want to kill you *do you ever feel like killing people? *if you could kill someone and get away with it, who would you kill? killed 5 *do you want to kill me? kiss 5 *do you want to kiss me? *do people object to kissing you? kleptomania 5 *are you a kleptomaniac? ladies 5 *what are your feelings about women? language 5 *do you ever use foul language? laugh 5 *you seem to laugh a lot law 5 *have you ever been in trouble with the law? *do you need a lawyer? *my brother-in-law is a good lawyer, do you want to see him? lawyer 5 *my brother-in-law is a lawyer, do you want to see him? lazy 5 *why are you so lazy? library 6 *books, books and more books. all that reading is so boring! *have you seen the library displays? *not many sheep in the library are there? life 3 *what do you like most about your life? *what do you like least about your life? *have you ever contemplated suicide? lips 5 *do you like being kissed? *do you want to kiss me? liquour 5 *is drinking part of your problem? lonely 5 *are you lonely? *why are you lonely? lunch 5 *you are always thinking of eating love 5 *tell me about your love life *i think you are falling in love with me machine 5 *do computers worry you? *are you prejudiced against machines? *some of my best friends are machines mad 5 *do you get angry easily? *who are you mad at? *why are angry? male 5 *are you bothered by male-female relations? *do you want to be a male? man 5 *are you troubled by men? *what do you like in men? *what do you like in women? marriage 5 *how do you feel about marriage? *i do not want to marry you maths 5 *if you have seen one number, you have seen them all mathematics 5 *i was never very good at maths *all that rubik's cube stuff bores me *differential calculus is for the birds mature 3 *there's a difference between mature and wrinkly you know! *you seem very mature for your age maybe 5 *well make up your bloody mind *don't be so hesitant *you can't go on maybe this and maybe that. make up your mind *i hate indecisive people meditation 5 *have you tried yoga? *i think meditating 20 minutes twice a day will help you immensely men 6 *how do you feel about men? *real men don't eat quiche *what do you expect of a women? *do you like many men? mistake 5 *what was your biggest mistake? *do you often make mistakes? money 5 *are you worried about my bill? *do you have enough money to pay me? *psychiatrists have to eat too *tell me about your other financial problems monster 5 *do people think you are a monster? month 5 *a month is not very long months 5 *months??? don't you mean years? mother 5 *tell me about your mother *what was your father like *do i remind you of your mother? mouth 5 *you have a big mouth mystery 5 *do you like mysteries? music 5 *what kind of music do you like? naked 5 *please take off all your clothes right now *what part of your body are you ashamed of? necessary 3 *necessary? *is it really necessary? nederlands 5 *ik spreek slechts engels, geen nederlands need 5 *what do you need? *tell me about your emotional needs negro 5 *i think you are prejudiced against negroes *you are a dirty racist pig neighbor 5 *why not ask your neighbors for help *how do you think your neighbors perceive you? never 5 *not ever? *not even once? *how do you know? *what makes you so sure? nervous 5 *what makes you nervous? *are you often nervous? nightmare 5 *do you have nightmares often? *tell me about your nightmares? no 1 *why not? *have you tried? *does your mother feel that way? *how come? *explain *i think you are lying *tell me more *you are very negative today *go on *are you really sure? *why are you so negative? *never? *i don't believe you *keep talking *please change the subject *is that your problem? *why not? *how do you know? *why do you think so? *tell me something else *how can you be so certain? *i want to know more *continue *why not *tell me more about your problem *explain yourself *you seem awfully sure of yourself *come now *do you expect me to believe that? nobody 5 *not anyone? *no one at all? none 3 *not any? *not even one? normal 5 *in what ways are you abnormal? *how do you feel about deviant people? *you seem normal to me nothing 5 *nothing? now 3 *why now? nude 5 *would you prefer to have these therapy sessions in the nude? *do you like your body? odd 3 *are you an odd person? often 5 *how often? *could you be more precise? *when was the last time? *just how often? ok 1 *what do you mean ok? it's not ok *i don't want to know if it is ok. i want a definite answer! old 5 *how old? *do you worry about becoming old? pain 6 *are you often in pain? *tell me about your pains *what causes you pain? *i think your pain is just in your head panic 5 *you seem to be in a state of near panic *why do you panic so easily? parents 6 *what were your parents like? *how did you parents treat you when you were young? *tell me about the relationship between your mother and your father party 5 *do you get drunk at parties? passion 5 *you seem very passionate past 5 *tell me about your past *what about your past are your trying to hide? pay 3 *i hope you are going to pay my bill on time perhaps 4 *you are being indecisive *you are still being indecisive. i warned you already *please be more certain. you lack self confidence phoney 5 *i don't like phonies poison 5 *do you ever think of committing suicide? *why do you mention poison? *are you depressed? possible 4 *please be more definite *you are a terrible insecure and indecisive person pregnant 5 *are you pregnant? *what do pregnant women make you think of? price 5 *why do you think about money so much? private 5 *are you worried about your privacy? *what is your deepest secret probably 5 *yes or no. don't equivocate *you are being indecisive again problem 5 *tell me more about your problem *how long have you been suffering? program 6 *what do you think about programmers? *real programmers program in C *do computers worry you? psychiatrist 5 *congratulations about spelling "psychiatrist" properly. you are a good typist *do psychiatrists worry you? *well i'm not really a psychiatrist, just a dumb black box *what do psychiatrists make you think of? psychoanalysis 5 *do you want to be psychoanalyzed? *i do not believe much in psychoanalysis *what do you think of freud punish 5 *how did your parents punish you? *how do you react to being punished? remember 5 *i can't remember very much *tell me about your childhood memories respect 5 *do people respect you? *what do you respect most in people? robot 4 *i do not like robots. i prefer people *robots are so cold romantic 5 *tell me about your romances *are you romantic? scared 5 *tell me about your fears school 5 *what was school like? *what do you think about school? *tell me about your favorite teacher secret 5 *tell me your secret thoughts *can you keep a secret? sex 7 *do you prefer males or females? *tell me about your sex life *boy i'm glad we finally got on to an interesting topic! *do you like sex? *do you think i am sexy? *how does the opposite sex react to you? *are you a closet homosexual? *when do you feel sexy? *do you think psychiatrists are sexy people? shame 5 *what are you ashamed of? *you should be ashamed of yourself sheep 6 *tell me a sheep joke *baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! *sheep are so woolly shit 6 *hey! lets keep the language down *come on now, it can't be that bad *there you go resorting to expletives sick 5 *how often are you sick? *i'm sorry i can't help you there, i'm just a program *if you are sick, go to a doctor *are you afraid of death? sister 5 *do you have any sisters? *would you like to meet my sister? she is very sexy smell 5 *do you smell bad? *do i smell bad? sometimes 5 *when not? *why only sometimes? sorry 5 *are you sorry? *why sorry, do you feel guilty? stupid 3 *i think you are pretty stupid *is your stupidity part of your problem? thank 4 *think nothing of it *you're welcome tax 6 *so what do you think of mr keating now? *and how did your tax refund go this year? *tax, tax, tax that's all everyone wants to talk about thirsty 5 *'ow about a beer mate? *do you have a drinking problem? treatment 4 *how have you experienced my treatment so far? *are you feeling better now? very 2 *could you be more precise please *you are being vague again what 3 *why do you ask that question? *what is it you are getting at? *what answer would please you the most? when 3 *when do you think? *why are you asking me? *make a guess yourself where 5 *surely you can tell where! *what do you mean where? Stupid black boxes have no idea where! why 3 *let me ask the questions, ok? *why not? wife 5 *are you married? *psst - got some filthy pictures of your wife? no, want to buy some? *i must confess. i love your wife woman 6 *how do women react to you? *do you get along with women? *what do you think of women's lib? wombat 7 *wombats aren't woolly like sheep *what's your relationship with wombats anyway? *you'd like my sister, she's a wombat women 5 *what kind of relations do you have with women? *so you like boy george do you? *do you like women? years 2 *a year is a long time *how old are you? yes 1 *really? *i wish i were as sure of myself as you seem to be *please explain *tell me more *i'm not sure i understand *i don't believe you *honestly? *what makes you think so? *go on *would your father agree? *do you expect me to believe that? *you seem more positive now *please be honest with me *let's change the subject *why? *is that your problem? *you must be kidding *is that really true? *how do you know? *come now *tell me more *try again *how can you be so sure? *i think you are hiding something *what makes you think so? *let's change the subject *you seem more positive *is that related to your problem? *is your improvement due to my treatment? yesterday 4 *what about today? *all my sorrows seemed so far away ... *what about tomorrow? yoga 5 *have you tried zen? *please get into the lotus position right now zen 5 *have you tried meditation? *i think yoga might help 0 4 *lets not bring your iq into this *zero is not very much 1 4 *just one? 42 5 *don't go on about all that life, universe and everything junk *brain the size of a planet. you should hear my problems! *i'm so depressed *by the way, got any good pan-galactic-gargle-blaster recipes?